My Essay: "Adoption"

Like the sea tosses waves onto the shores of the surrounding beaches, adoption tosses waves of emotions onto the shores of the surrounding lives. Anyone who has experienced the adoption process is aware of the emotional tolls it can have. For those who have not, I want to give a few personal examples of situations and emotions that I have experienced in the adoption process. In having a close relationship with an adopting family I have learned that adoption can touch family friends and certainly the family itself, but adoption is most life altering for the child or children who are being adopted.

One way that friends can be affected is simply through connection and having a close relationship with the adopting family. From fundraising garage sales, raffles, and spaghetti dinners to preparing a place in the home; there is plenty of work to be done. I can recall nights that some of us would have to spend outside to guard the garage sale merchandise because of the vast donations. Adoption also opens doors for others. When a family adopts, it gives others a chance to see how they, too, can change lives. It goes outside the "normal" that is usually associated with the way of life. The typical idea of a family would be a man, wife and their biological children living together as a unit. Bringing in an outside, so to speak, gives everyone a completely different perspective.

There are numerous adjustments, both physical and mental, that a family must make when adopting. They have to reorganize their lifestyle from rooming to buying greater quantities of breakfast cereal. There will be one more child to care for, feed, clothe, educate, and discipline. Adopting alone costs a great amount of money, but the of one more child's-worth of all the essentials has to be considered. Despite the financial modifications, the rewards are so much greater. I find nothing better than getting the opportunity to show a child something that they have never known, felt or seen; in this case, love. In that sense, there are many emotional tolls that adoption has on a family. First of all, they have to be accepting and understanding of the child in this situation. This, however, is a learning process because the life of an orphan is nearly impossible to imagine unless one has been through this experience personally. They also have to "show them the ropes" of how things work around the household. Such as traditions and routines like washing the dishes and caring for the family pet. There is a form of discipline that must be established. Because the child has, most likely, spent his or her life without a parent-like figure, they become independent. It is the new guardian's responsibility to teach them to respect and abide by the rules.

The whole purpose of adoption is to change the life of a child and it certainly does so. They have to transition from one way of life to another in so little time. Situations, as well as emotions, can vary from child to child. For example, a child can be adopted at a very young age, understanding and experiencing little of life outside of the orphanage. All that they have ever known in the first months or years of their lives is the orphanage and caregivers. The day that they gain a new family is the day that they begin experiencing new everyday life experiences. Children can also be adopted at a later age, spending most of their early childhood in the orphanage. As they mature they gain more knowledge of this thing called "family." Their nights are spent dreaming of the day when someone will hold them and say, "I love you." Unfortunately, in some cases, a child can be placed in a home and the result is a non connection. In which case they would be removed. More often then not they eventually find their "forever family" to share the rest of their lives with.

After all the time and effort that is put into the adoption, the journey of bringing the child home forever is a clear reminder of its eternal worth. The emotions are almost indescribable and incomparable. It goes without saying that adoption affects every individual involved in the extremely long and testing process.